Friends sometimes ask me why we got a child. I can’t give a definite answer. At some point I felt an empty and void feeling on my arms. We thought having kids earlier is better because everything becomes more difficult when you get older. Many of our friends were getting children too, so for us it was kind of logical.
It’s one of the toughest challenges for one to undertake. I love my son.
I often notice myself full of judgement that my peers don’t get children. I often think they are selfish. I guess I’m mostly jealous that they can do some of the cool things I’d like to do, like travel, spending weekends like they and only they want them to be spent, hanging out with friends after work. But I think it’s most likely me who’s selfish and non-determined because I don’t get to do all of these things. I can do them, but I don’t and I find excuses.
I’m often sorry that my friends who are very good people don’t get kids. Because they would be great parents and they would bring great people into this world. I’m sorry that lots of people who won’t be great parents and will bring hurt people into this world are having kids.
Getting a child at 25 in Europe is a very social and at the same time anti-social thing to do. You will most likely drop out of what you’re friends of the same age are up to. You will meet some other parents soon when the kid starts going to the kindergarden. You will become more flexible as the kid gets older.
My kid manipulatively made fun of me this week by saying “dad, everything you want to do in this life is just to eat peanuts and chocolate.” I think we had an argument either because of sweets or brushing his teeth and that’s when he said it. He also interrogated me regarding some new stickers that we made this week at work. After finding out that I’ve put my sticker on the plant pot at my desk in the office, he cleverly negotiated which of the plant pots he can get for his room at home, and he put his sticker in the same manner on that pot. Later a friend of ours came for a dinner, and my kid took her by the hand, brought her to his room to show off the sweet sticker setup, and said that dad has the same at work.
My kid also said that when he grows up he wants to work at my company.