This week I’ve made a change that brings me fear. I’ve been training with a team of professional coaches for almost a year by now, and it has been a blast. I’ve learned many new exercises and techniques. I’ve got stronger. I probably also revived some unused muscles.
Though mirror keeps saying to me that there’s no change. I’m kind of split between whether I should care about what I see in the mirror or not. Part of me says that if I’m training 3 times a week, and pushing myself really hard, then I should at least see some nice curvatures around the waist line.
The reason why I don’t want to go for the bulky looks is that I’ll have to eat lots and lots of stuff that I wouldn’t normally eat. I just can’t see how getting chicken or tofu with every other meal is healthy. Protein shakes are either processed too much, or one has to go really out of their way to prepare them. I’m concerned about the health in the long run.
Thus I like to go for the function more than for the form, so as long as I see my power not stagnating I’m pretty much satisfied.
So, regarding the training with a personal coach. I’ve been thinking a lot about it. I figured out that having a personal coach doesn’t align with my value system. I know, sounds weird. I’ve given up on not sounding weird already, so I don’t judge you if you judge me. I’m very grateful for being able to experience such a privilege. But I’ll stop training with the coach starting from the next month.
One thing I’ve figured out is that no teacher will make you smart, no personal cook will make you eat healthy, no spiritual leader will make you closer to God, and no personal coach will make you fit. It always depends on you. If you want a result — learn about the subject, and practice it yourself.
But it’s a scary decision for me. Feels similarly to co-founding a company. What if I exercise in a wrong way and get an injury? What if I don’t find enough motivation? What if I start skipping the leg day?
I went for a run today. It felt good. I did a warm-up, some stretches and drills, and then two rounds of fartlek. My GPS watch lied to me shamelessly claiming I did 10km, which is not true. I probably have to adjust some settings. I had no pain during the run, except so much belly pain in the beginning that I almost gave up and went home. It’s the first time I’m having it and I have no idea what it was. I ran in the evening. Most likely the pain was caused by my huge lunch, and a banana that I gobbled one minute before the run. I’ll try not to eat too much on the days I run.
I’ve also decided to write an exercise diary here on the website. It’s mostly for me as I don’t think anyone will find it any interesting. But here’s the link anyway, for some random public accountability reasons.
I’m struggling to come up with any goals except being persistent with the plan and not injuring myself.